Wednesday, 27 April 2016

No Codeword - by SJ Smith

This bloke in a swallowtail suit and top hat says to us “Welcome, ladies and gentlemen. The party is through here,” and he points toward a red curtain that’s drawn across the corridor. “May I take your hats and coats?”

Everyone else takes off their anoraks and scarves and hand them over, so not wanting to stand out as some socially inept fool, I do exactly the same.

“Thank you, sir.” He comes over to take my coat, and I smile and nod, like this high class living is all in a day’s work. “Your locker number is thirty-two, and the codeword this evening is (blah blah blah).”

Now, for saying I was paralytic and had no fucking idea of what was actually going on, I thought at the time I was doing pretty damn well just to digest my locker number. “Thirty two,” I’m saying to myself. “Thirty-two. Thirty-two.”

Mustn’t forget; thirty-two.

Everything else he said is a bit of a blur, in all honesty.

Next thing I know, this mad woman called Pamela has got me handcuffed to a bed, and is tickling my cock with a feather duster, and I’m saying, “Come on now Pamela, love, will you stop doing that please. I’m trying to watch telly.”

And she keeps laughing. “You’re a naughty boy, and you must be punished.”

She just wouldn’t stop, no matter how much I begged.

Three years passed. I gave up hope of ever being free. Pamela grew bored and I grew bored, but neither of us were allowed to break the cycle. On and on it went, the endless tickling of the cock, and the endless refusals to ever, ever stop.

And it was not until I uttered the word ‘pissflaps’ by sheer accident one evening, did Pamela finally stop tickling my cock. She collapsed in exhaustion at the foot of the bed and suffered a fatal coronary. Realising I finally knew the codeword, I screamed it at the top of my voice.

“Pissflaps! Pissflaps!”

And the man in the swallowtail suit did finally come and release me from my bonds. “Blimey,” he commented out the side of his mouth, as he carried me shivering back to my car. “You must have really been enjoying that.”

“Pissflaps.” I choked into his ear. “Pissflaps. Pissflaps.”

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