Monday 22 February 2016

There’s Something Wrong with you . . .

At the beginning of this year I set to finishing off and polishing up The House of Fox, a novel I started work on some six months previous. By the end of January it was ready to go, so I dispatched it to the publisher and crossed my fingers. Within five minutes I was anxiously checking my phone for replies, like some lovesick teenager. Ridiculous, I know, but that’s what this writing game does to you – gets you all hot under the collar as you wait for your latest outpouring to be judged.

The reply I eventually received made me so happy I practically jumped up and down on the spot. It began with the words ‘There’s something wrong you . . .

A lot of people may have been put off by such a response, but to me it meant I’d achieved exactly what I’d set out to. The House of Fox isn’t a cosy little smut story, but rather a full blown pornographic epic, with gun fights, car chases and even a couple of song and dance routines thrown in for good measure. I didn’t want to write anything that had been written before, and with a bit of luck I’ve managed to pull it off this time.

There’s a very good quote by the late, great Frank Zappa, which I feel is pertinent here. ‘I never set out to be weird - it was other people that decided I was weird’.

Somewhere inside of me lurks a genuine need to break ranks and do the opposite of what everyone else is doing. My life has been rather handicapped by this urge – for example, when the train pulls into the station and all the people move to the edge of the platform and jostle to get close to the doors, I feel a strong desire to go sit in the waiting room and read a newspaper. A crowd of a hundred are going left, therefore my brain tells me to go right. I don’t want to ever fit in with the multitude.

The same goes for my writing. The popular trends in dirty books right now are vampires and sadomasochists. If that’s your kettle of fish then there are a million tomes out there to satisfy your needs, but you won’t find me writing about that stuff. I have an artistic vision I need to satisfy.

The downside to this, of course, is that by steering away from what is popular, I’m walking away from a potential marketplace. People love vampires and sadomasochism – that’s why they buy these books in their droves. Who the fuck wants to read about rocket propelled gimps or obscene Cowboy and Western acts?

We shall see. This morning I signed a contract with Sinful Press to publish The House of Fox. Some time in the near future we will be unleashing this rutting beast upon the world.


I can only apologise in advance.