More Publicity

With the release date of my fourth novel Return to the House of Fox drawing ever closer, I have been wracking my brain for ideas to raise my profile, in the hope of driving sales up toward double figures. After my attempt to break a world record ended in dismal failure, I have decided to stage a charity event, in the hope of gaining much needed publicity.

Next week I will be participating in a sponsored wank, with all proceeds going to the Gethin Jenkins Foundation for People with Huge Heads but Unusually Skinny Legs. This terrible affliction affects many across Wales, and the foundation does great work by helping suffers buy baggier trousers and grow distracting fringes. I am hoping to raise more than £4 to go towards their sterling efforts.

I will be wanking from Castell Spinbreath, in the heart of rural North Wales, to the Pen y Bryn public tavern, Llanrhos, also in the heart of rural North Wales, but a bit to the left. This epic journey of some seventeen miles will take six days to complete, and see me wanking through some of the most spectacular scenery in the country. I will be joined by local celebrities along the way, who will wank alongside me.

So please, show your support; dig deep in your pockets and send cash, in none sequential, used bills, to SJ Smith, Castell Spinbreath, Wales. And don’t forget to honk your horn and wave if you see me wanking in a street near you.