Take a Peep at Peeper for Free

In the build up to the release of my third novel The House of Fox, Sinful Press are giving away free E copies of Peeper on Amazon.

Peeper is the story of a struggling private detective who stumbles into a case that is far bigger than anything he has ever dealt with before. Dragged further and further out of his depth, he becomes entangled in the world of a beautiful but manipulative exhibitionist. At the same time, his home life is being turned upside down as his bi-curious wife decides she wishes to explore her sexuality with another woman.


To claim your free, no strings attached copy of Peeper, click on the links below.

Amazon UK

Amazon US

Leisure Release Day

 Thank God it's a slow news day and nothing significant has happened in the UK in the past twenty-four hours to completely overshadow everything else that happens . . .

Leisure tells the story of a young woman named Alice, who is starting a new job in a council run sports centre. Full of hope and expectation, believing this to be the beginning of a dream career, she very quickly realises she has landed herself in an enclave of insanity, where the rules of society have been thrown out the window and the lunatics are firmly in command.

As Alice falls under the spell of the beautiful nymphomaniac Lucy, she finds herself being dragged ever deeper into the chaos, and must decide whether to join in or run for the hills.

Leisure is an erotic farce, full of smut, stupidity and surreal humour. It’s lighter and frothier than Peeper, not nearly so perverse, with the emphasis more on daft comedy than dark fetish. Having said that, there’s plenty of sauciness and ultimately a sort of serious message about how we all put on a different face in the workplace.

You can order Leisure here, for the princely sum of £2.05 

Singledom

It has finally happened. My mad wife has fucked off and left me to go and live in a metal pipe in Cheshire.

The break up is all my fault of course. I was leaning on her, she said, and I can see exactly what she means. I wasn’t pulling my weight; all I did to contribute was work three jobs, six days a week, do all the housework, cooking and shopping, look after the gardens and supply the vast quantities of dope she smoked every day. When you compare this to her tireless efforts to sit on her arse watching telly and take two holidays a month, it’s really no surprise we’re heading for the divorce court. Just because I was suicidally depressed at the crumbling state of my marriage and the sudden death of my best friend is no excuse. I should have done more.

Plus I’m also to blame for the financial hardship we’ve had to endure these past four months. I recklessly frittered away my cash on stupid stuff like bills and food, while all the time she struggled to keep her engineless, leaking narrowboat moored in the most expensive marina in Cheshire. And I utterly failed to magic out of my arse the ten grand she needed to turn her floating skip into a working vessel.

What a cunt I’ve been.

Anyhow, one has to look on the bright side. I’ve two novels out this month, two riotous launch parties to hold, and now that I’m single I’m free to indulge in red hot rumpy pumpy action with a string of salacious females.

So form a queue, ladies; SJ Smith is back on the prowl.

A Busy Month Ahead

Indeed, the month of June is set to be a frantic one. Not only do I have two novels – Leisure and House of Fox – coming out, but I also have two launch parties to prepare for.

The first of these parties will, on June 24^th, see me jump naked out of a large cake. I have no idea where this will occur, as the plan is to place me in the cake several days beforehand, wheel me to an unknown location and – at a pre-arranged signal - I will leap up starkers and present myself to whoever happens to be in the vicinity. It might be a roomful of teenage hotties taking part in a bikini competition, or a meeting for Feminist Lesbian Ninjas, the fun is all in the not knowing. It should be a darn good day.

The second grand occasion will be a launch party in every sense of the word, as to celebrate the release of House of Fox I intend to literally launch myself from a giant catapult, made entirely out of women’s knickers, from my back garden. There’s no way of telling how far I’ll fly, but given the vast amount of elastic I intend to incorporate into this motherfucker, it could be anything up to three miles. So if you happen to live in the North Wales area, then don’t forget to look upwards on June 30^th at seven o’clock, as you may see me go hurtling across the sky.

Plenty for me to do, then: bake a fuck-off big cake and somehow acquire forty-two metric tonnes of women’s underwear. And that’s before I even think about keeping up the social media campaign to mercilessly spam all my friends.

It’s hard work, this erotic writing lark.

Leisure

Another exciting day, as I get to reveal the cover of Leisure for the first time. Should be hitting your Kindle (or other electronic device of some description) June 24th.

Let's Get Sweaty . . . 

No Codeword - by SJ Smith

This bloke in a swallowtail suit and top hat says to us “Welcome, ladies and gentlemen. The party is through here,” and he points toward a red curtain that’s drawn across the corridor. “May I take your hats and coats?”

Everyone else takes off their anoraks and scarves and hand them over, so not wanting to stand out as some socially inept fool, I do exactly the same.

“Thank you, sir.” He comes over to take my coat, and I smile and nod, like this high class living is all in a day’s work. “Your locker number is thirty-two, and the codeword this evening is (blah blah blah).”

Now, for saying I was paralytic and had no fucking idea of what was actually going on, I thought at the time I was doing pretty damn well just to digest my locker number. “Thirty two,” I’m saying to myself. “Thirty-two. Thirty-two.”

Mustn’t forget; thirty-two.

Everything else he said is a bit of a blur, in all honesty.

Next thing I know, this mad woman called Pamela has got me handcuffed to a bed, and is tickling my cock with a feather duster, and I’m saying, “Come on now Pamela, love, will you stop doing that please. I’m trying to watch telly.”

And she keeps laughing. “You’re a naughty boy, and you must be punished.”

She just wouldn’t stop, no matter how much I begged.

Three years passed. I gave up hope of ever being free. Pamela grew bored and I grew bored, but neither of us were allowed to break the cycle. On and on it went, the endless tickling of the cock, and the endless refusals to ever, ever stop.

And it was not until I uttered the word ‘pissflaps’ by sheer accident one evening, did Pamela finally stop tickling my cock. She collapsed in exhaustion at the foot of the bed and suffered a fatal coronary. Realising I finally knew the codeword, I screamed it at the top of my voice.

“Pissflaps! Pissflaps!”

And the man in the swallowtail suit did finally come and release me from my bonds. “Blimey,” he commented out the side of his mouth, as he carried me shivering back to my car. “You must have really been enjoying that.”

“Pissflaps.” I choked into his ear. “Pissflaps. Pissflaps.”

House of Fox Artwork, plus news of Leisure

I'm happy to present the cover art for my upcoming novel The House of Fox. As ever, publisher and designer have done a fantastic job.

We're hoping the book should be out in June, which brings me onto my second piece of news; we have a tentative release date for Leisure, which - fingers crossed - should be out June 24th. Leisure was the first novel I wrote that was accepted for publishing, but owing to several mishaps it's now in a race to be either the second or third to come out. Watch this space for updates.