“Do you know Jeremy Gaylord?”
“I don’t think so.” She shook her head.
“Oh, he’s a complete prick. Everyone takes the piss because
of his surname, so he goes out of his way to prove how staunchly straight he
is. Keeps on sexually harassing women in shops. Last week the girl from the
butchers found him lying bollock naked on a display of award-winning sausages, sporting
a massive erection and inviting her to come check out his meaty banger.”
“Ugh.”
“Exactly. She phoned the police. Jeremy scarpered, but the
sniffer dogs found him in record time. He’s a total arse. God knows why he
thinks he’s God’s gift to women, what with that huge, fat arse and that
revolting gummy smile. He’s got less teeth than Timothy Leary.”
“Did he not have any teeth?”
“No, they all dropped out.”
