Indeed, the month of June is set to
be a frantic one. Not only do I have two novels – Leisure and House of Fox –
coming out, but I also have two launch parties to prepare for.
The first of these parties will, on
June 24th, see me jump naked out of a large cake. I have no idea
where this will occur, as the plan is to place me in the cake several days
beforehand, wheel me to an unknown location and – at a pre-arranged signal - I
will leap up starkers and present myself to whoever happens to be in the
vicinity. It might be a roomful of teenage hotties taking part in a bikini
competition, or a meeting for Feminist Lesbian Ninjas, the fun is all in the
not knowing. It should be a darn good day.
The second grand occasion will be a
launch party in every sense of the
word, as to celebrate the release of House of Fox I intend to literally launch
myself from a giant catapult, made entirely out of women’s knickers, from my
back garden. There’s no way of telling how far I’ll fly, but given the vast amount
of elastic I intend to incorporate into this motherfucker, it could be anything
up to three miles. So if you happen to live in the North Wales
area, then don’t forget to look upwards on June 30th at seven o’clock , as you may see me go hurtling
across the sky.
Plenty for me to do, then: bake a
fuck-off big cake and somehow acquire forty-two metric tonnes of women’s
underwear. And that’s before I even think about keeping up the social media
campaign to mercilessly spam all my friends.
It’s hard work, this erotic writing
lark.
